Vow of Abstinence

I have made a promise to myself that I won't sit bedside in birth with another woman. After witnessing my grandson's birth, during which Murphy's Law was in full effect, I decided that I just would no longer put myself through it. I'm at peace with this decision- for now. I ran into a former doula last night, who told me she's putting off having a baby because there's no-one to deliver it. It's true, I hear it again and again. We don't have enough midwives willing or able to do home births in our area (heck in our state). I refuse to lend witness to another hospital birth. I somewhat jokingly told her, I know what she means, if I got pregnant again, I'd just do it myself.