A New Found Purpose

After floundering for several weeks with this blog, I've decided what I want to blog about. Once the birth was over and done, I had to find a new focus for this blog. That focus will be my book. I watched as an old aquaintance of mine published a beautiful book that I didn't even know he was intending to write. I want my book published, but first I have to complete it. This is my goal for the coming year. I know that I can do this, my life and purpose demand it. It will be a challenge with a new baby, but I can't let that be an excuse not to get it done. I will finish my book, publish it, and hopefully find fulfillment in where it leads.

A Shot in the Dark

I took Josiah for his first immunizations last week. I'm happy to report he is now 8lbs. and 14oz. Yipee! He has fat rosy cheeks and a kissable little bottom. It's nice to see him plumping up so nicely. I'm still supplementing him after every other feeding. I'm still hoping to get to the point of not having to supplement but for the time being, I want him to have what he needs. I always have anxiety about immunizations and last week was no different. The flea blogs have been brutal on the immunization issue lately (http://drfleablog.blogspot.com/). I know that immunizations work to eradicate deadly disease (I only have to listen to my mother-in-law's stories about the iron lungs that were around when she was a pediatric nurse) but I also know there is some risk-small though it may be. I always approach it with some anxiety. Josiah was uncharacteristically cranky that day, but was fine the next. Whew! I don't believe the anti-vax folks propaganda that vaccines kill, but I also don't believe the medical establishment that says there is no risk. I risk out the ones I think my kids really don't need to have and cross my fingers as they get the rest. I wish there were a better way.

For unto us, a child is born

I just got these Christmas pics from my friend Rebecca and couldn't resist posting them. She took them at my husband's fancy hotel- we were there anyway for the annual employee party and Rebecca came and snapped a few shots in an empty party room (after hubby turned on the gas fireplace). Note the real live manger I stole from church (left over from last year's Christmas play). These will go out on our Christmas cards.

Milk Drunk

Milk drunk is the term I created to describe that look of pure ecstacy on a baby's face when they've fallen asleep satisfied from a good breast (or bottle) feeding. You know the look, eyes closed, slack-mouthed, with a dribble of milk clinging to one corner, a small contented sigh, perhaps even a quick upturned smile of the lips and then a return to post meal slumber. That's milk drunk. I love to see Josiah milk drunk- slurping at the breast one minute, milk drunk the next. Since some of his hair has rubbed away, his widow's peak is even more severe. He looks even more liked some wizened old man, toothless and bald. He's not as scrawny anymore but still small. He's not pretty yet there's something quite beautiful about him. His skin is flawless and fair. I took him yesterday to be photographed. I had a coupon for a free sitting at a fancy private photography studio. He was photographed on a big white furry bean bag with simple white tule wrapped around him. The whole thing had the appearance of 'swaddling clothes' or an angel floating on a cloud. The photos will be so cute and will be Christmas gifts for grandparents. How can I explain how much I love this baby? My life is devoted to his wellbeing. I don't want to be away from him. I can just sit and stare at him for hours. Perhaps I'm baby drunk!
We went to a Christmas party last night for our multi-racial family support group. My kids always love their events. The party was held at my friend Sarah's home, a huge turn of the century mansion in the city. My kids love her house, and so do I. The spaces are so generous the architecture so intricate. No space or structure is to obscure for the finest detail. I remarked to my kids that they still build large homes today, but there's not the same attention to detail. Anyway, I spent most of the party talking to a couple with a new baby. They were adoptive parents to a biracial baby named Iris. I could hardly take my eyes of her, she was so plump and beautiful. She was younger than Josiah but much bigger. I was so greedy to hear their stories about her and to laugh and smile with them as she cooed and yawned. I felt so happy for them to have her. It was clear they were over the moon about her. I thought, every baby should be like Josiah and Iris. Every baby should be so wanted and cherished.

Weight Update

A quick update on Josiah. He had gained weight at his last Ped check earlier this week. Not quite up to his 2 week weight but over 7 lbs. He is finally plumping up and looking meatier. His little cheeks (both sets) are nice and plump and he is robust and alert when awake. As for my milk supply, it is ever so slowly increasing. I still supplement after most feedings as I can tell he's not satisfied. I still take the domperidome and reglan, although my mother tells me that my cousin has some herbal stuff that's sure to help. I haven't talked to my cousin yet to find out what it is, but I'm curious. Nothing that I've taken has helped to the extent that I thought it would so I'm ready to try something new. Right now, we're all snowed in here, so I won't be going out for a couple of days. Whatever my cousin has for me will have to wait. Right now I'm content that Josiah is gaining weight and thriving. For that I'm very grateful.