Thursday, July 26, 2007

Putting the SOB into OB

My husband and I went on a date last night to see the movie, "Knocked Up." I thought it would be funny and sweet. It was kinda. (I actually liked the movie "Waitress" much better with a similar theme.) I later realized upon reflection that the birth scenes left a really bad taste in my mouth. Actually, upon reflection, I hated those scenes. While I was watching them, I had an out of body experience and was right back in my labor and delivery nurse role. I hated that OB in the movie, the actor's portrayal of a self-centered arrogant SOB was so on target (forgive me, any OB readers!). His performance really did remind me of about 80% of the docs I worked with. (As a nurse, I began to believe that OBs as a group didn't really like women and that they became OBs as a socially sanctioned way to torture them.) It did remind me of all the medical abuse I witnessed and assisted in. I feel so grateful to be out of that vocation (sorry all my L&D nurse readers!) That's why I can't attend anymore (hospital) births- I can't stand witness to the abuse anymore. Even if I attend just as a 'friend' I'm still totally intuned to all the fine nuances that go on around me. I know when the nurse is afraid of the doctor, or when the doctor thinks the mom is a nutjob. I know when the mom is being bullshitted with big fancy words, to manipulate her behavior. I just can't stand to bear witness to it anymore. Birth is no longer a beautiful act of nature for me- its an opportunity to watch a woman be debassed, manipulated, and dishonored. I can't even watch a fake birth anymore.

6 comments:

Mimi said...

Birth is no longer a beautiful act of nature for me- its an opportunity to watch a woman be debassed, manipulated, and dishonored.

Amen. I am not immune to shouting at the TV, I have to say.

Anonymous said...

First, I want to say that your boy Josiah is just about as beautiful a baby as I have ever seen, But being upset by "Knocked Up?" C'mon, lighten up, it's a movie and a pretty funny one at that!

Laborpayne said...

Yes, anon,
I think the movie is cute-but did you see that delivery scene??? It was a nightmare. Would you want to be treated that way by your physician? Would any woman? And it absolutely DID remind me of too many births I witnessed as an L&D nurse. The movie makers actually did too good of a job portraying the asshole doctor. Thats why my reaction was so emotional.

kris said...

i get what you mean. i react at every birth thing i see or hear and my hubby has to remind me of where i'm at or just tell me to chill out(!)

The Rogue Midwife said...

Wow! Agreed! And thank you!

Anonymous said...

Its stuff like that, and thats not the worst of it, that has lead to my personal mantra. "The births on tv just aren't for me, my births will be peaceful ad simply pain free." (by pain free I mean simple things like water and rocking or moaning will be all I need to keep comfortable) There is a really interesting movie called Birthing Under an Illusion - Childbirth in the mass media. Check it out, some are great, some awful, some hilarious (like the govenator arnold being yelled at to PUUUUSSSHHH during his c-section in the movie Twins, and he actually pushes and strains, its absurd) it really shows how even a voice over can change a peaceful birth scene into one of nightmarish terror, good to show mamas where their fear really comes from so they can let it go and move forward toward happy birthing. -kelli