Busting Out

A seed has taken root in my heart. I won't reveal it all here and now, but I have learned that dreams manifest quicker if you share them with others. I am sharing this one with you. One of the things I have found that I do really well is write curriculum. I have written many continuing education programs over the years and presented them to specialized audiences. Something I've wanted to write for many years but always managed to talk myself out of, is a curriculum for 1) homebirth doulas and 2) homebirth couples. Maybe talking myself out of it, was a manifestation of my diminished esteem, or perhaps the timing was not right, but I am writing them now. A guide for doulas on how to help at a homebirth (Red Spiral wrote recently that she felt she didn't have a role in homebirth but felt very needed in hospital birth- I found that interesting since I specialized in homebirth when I was a doula and of course my own homebirth doula- Nadah, was amazing) and a guide for parents planning a homebirth. I'm really excited about creating these educational guides.
On another note, I decided to grow out my hair and have it twisted. (Now I know all my poor caucasian readers won't have a clue as to what I'm talking about), but just trust me on this one, it will look good- eventually. I'm becoming concerned about my apprearance. It's time to loose all this damn baby weight. I taught a CPR class with a client for the past 3 years. He hires my firm to come train his school districts's coaches. When I saw him last year he weighed a little over 300 pounds, when I saw him again this year, he weighed half that. He told me he did it by bicycling. He was too fat to jog (his words) and even walking was hard on his joints but he found bicycling (and ammending his diet) worked just right for him. It was really an impressive testimony. I want that kind of testimony! I want to be 45, fit and fabulous (not white girl skinny : ) but curvaceous and bodacious with a big booty (and natural twisted hair). I want to be my own kind of beautiful. Fuck whatever current fashion trends prevail. I'm only concerned that my outside me expresses the vivacious inside me. I'm not the type to obsess about my appearance, even with the weight I know I'm pretty, but damn it, my body's going to seed. I've got to get fit, I'm even considering a return to a vegetarian diet. Right now, I've got a bicycle collecting dust in the garage to confront. Today, Dear Readers, be beautiful your own way...