Friday, March 07, 2008

The Clean Up Woman

I just recieved an email from a nice lady at my church asking for meals for the young couple about to have a baby. Meals were requested starting Sunday- wait a minute- how do they know the baby will be born by Sunday??? Can you say INDUCTION boys and girls? I can't believe this shit is happening in my own church. How did we lose birth in one generation??? How can this be happening in MY church- a church started by hippie college students in the 70s? During the 80s everyone in my church was doing homebirth and breastfeeding. Half the women were lay midwives. We even had folks doing unassisted births back before it was trendy. Now their daughters get inductions (or as I call them, pre-cesareans). Part of me wants to talk to her- but of course I can't just call her up- I don't know her that well. Plus she's a first timer- you know how skitish they are. It's too late, I've missed my chance. I hope to God she doesn't end up with a cesarean. I'm so sick of seeing young healthy first time mothers end up scarred (literally and figuratively). In case no one has noticed, we're back to 'once a cesarean, always a cesarean'. With VBACs falling out of fashion, good luck finding an OB who will do one. CNMs are often restricted from them as well. I submitted my article this week about the dangers of hospital birth. The editor actually thanked me (I thought she wouldn't run it). It will be published in May- I'll provide a link when it comes out. I also emailed a homebirth mama who just moved to this area and was trying to find the 'homebirth community'. Thank God for this blog- at least I have an outlet for some of my angst. I'm headed to the CNM conference tonight. They'll be showing the Ricki Lake film with a discussion afterwards. It's my self-appointed job to go point out to them that they aren't supporting homebirth in great enough numbers and why things need to change. It's a dirty job- but somebody's got to do it. Oy vey.

11 comments:

mm said...

Head to table... HARD... Just wrote about a 'friend' who had an elective repeat c/s.... lost her uterus in the 'perfectly normal and safe proceedure.
=(

Anonymous said...

In the church I go to, they don't even bother to schedule the induction, they just schedule the c/s.

I am staying anon for that reason, but would love to chat more. I just don't get it...

Laborpayne said...

Anon,
You and me both. I don't get why a woman would choose to be cut open in major abdominal surgery when mother nature has provided a perfectly good route for the birth of her child. I chalk it up to ignorance. Women just don't know how risky cesareans really are.

Jawndoejah said...

Thank you for your upcoming article. I am excited that you will be published in the paper (right?). I've been out discussing this with my friends in bible study, at the park, in my live journal, and everywhere I get a chance. I write questions in the MOM2MOM thing. I am trying to get people to think about normal birth. I already have a friend telling me about her midwife for her births so I don't have to go through what I went through. Problem is, the midwife is a hospital kind that won't really be different. Sage Femme, open back up before I get pregnant! Of course, you never know. I might get homebirth brave before then. It will be a big hurdle though for my husband to overcome. No matter what, if I choose to go to the hospital I will wait it out as long as possible. My husband wanted to go in and I remember telling him I thought it was too early and wanted to walk around somewhere. I wish I would have pushed it. Less than 2 hours, that's what I like in hospital time...it's all I can stand in labor. They don't have time to really pay attention to me if I only am there two hours or less before the birth. Maybe next time I'll have the baby at home because I waited too long. Oops! Ha ha.

I look at changing the way women are treated when birthing the same as changing education in the USA. Homeschoolers are causing some change. Some of it is clamping down (just like the OB's are with their ACOG statement) and some of it is making schools come up with better options like virtual schools where there is homeschooling and public school combined. I think it's possible to change hospital birth and make it better for all women if the homebirth movement keeps on going. Midwives need to keep on catching babies, and women need to speak up. Most women don't know there is another option. Why is there not enough alarm at the interventions in birth and the c-section rate? I think women feel bad about sharing their hurt when it comes to birth. "At least you have a healthy baby." I don't want my dentist to pull all my teeth and give me dentures when I don't need them, why would I want interventions I don't need in a healthy birth? "At least you can eat."

Dawn

Midhusband said...

Your thoughts, Laborpayne, are refreshing and heartwarming.

It was only a matter of time. Images of normal birth were eradicated decades ago and Missouri is the Central Front at which the Missouri State Medical Association is waging war against midwifery.

In this instance, the chicken must come before the egg. Before the pendulum will swing back toward the middle, there must be midwives. Missouri needs to pass legislation to license Certified Professional Midwives.

There are some remarkable people working on this and I had the distinct pleasure of meeting them last summer in Jefferson City.

Thank you, Laborpayne, for sharing. I feel that it will change, and folks need to help push the pendulum back to the middle.

Russ

Anonymous said...

I wonder if you know this person's circumstances. I wonder how she would feel about your anger toward her. Do you know that she's naive, uneducated, or ignorant? She might be. But what purpose does your anger toward her serve? Wouldn't your energy be better spent encouraging women in your church with information and resources, and then LETTING THEM PRAYERFULLY DECIDE without your attack? I understand that your blog is a place to vent, but your published foul mouthed rage toward others is not welcomed by your targets. It does no good. Not in your church. Not to the world wide web.
You may just be pationate about a really important topic, but your approach alienates those who don't know what you know. Or, they know, but make choices you don't approve of anyway. Division in a church, unless it's to address sin, should be seriouly looked at (and avoided). It distracts from peoples relationship the Lord.

Laborpayne said...

Thanks Midhusband,
You are so right. I've chosen to step back from the political arena for a time, but I am very aware, and remain very supportive of all the legislative efforts by a lot of hard working Missourians.

Anonymous,
See my next post.

Anonymous said...

From the original anon to the second anonymous.

The women in my church KNOW what I do. They don't bother to ask me, an expert in normal birth in more ways than one. It seems more like they want to stay ignorant of the process. Just observations that are not made only by me, but by the owner of this blog as well. We do not know each other.

Laborpayne said...

Thanks Original Anonymous,
However I disagree. I don't think women want to remain ignorant- its just that sometimes it serves them. Sometimes its easier, sometimes it serves survival. But I agree with Oprah's statement, that when people know better, they do better. Some folks don't want to 'know' so they don't have to 'do', and just let someone else take the responsibility.

Anonymous said...

So how do we share our knowledge with them if they don't ask? I guess that I don't see the difference in what you are saying and what I am saying. I am not a wordsmith, so when I say that it SEEMS like they want to stay ignorant, that is all I mean- it seems that way to me. I have no idea what their motivation is- apparently I am not like they are since I started seeking how, what, and why with birth from my very first one. I have 9 children.

Laborpayne said...

Perhaps Anon I,
We are saying the same thing after all, because your quandry is my quandry. Like the young mom I spoke about in this post. First-timers are so hard to talk to. They have stars in their eyes. They believe whatever comes out of their caregiver's mouth. How do we 'guardians of birth' approach someone who thinks they know what they need to know, but don't realize that there is more to know? (clear as mud right?) The best solution I've come up with so far, is to keep telling our stories. Newbies do love to hear stories, and they sure will hear all the bad ones, so at least we can make sure some good ones are thrown into the mix. Perhaps something about our empowermening stories will touch them- if not for this birth, then for the next. Thanks for your thoughts Anon 1, I do think we have much in common.