I have not been pleased by my arrogant tone in my writing of late. I came across this little blurb on a post of navelgazing midwife:
Women just don’t know that they didn’t need that cesarean. It’s my duty to make them feel like crap about their birth experience, not allow them to discover on their own if a cesarean was warranted. It’s important to discount a woman’s birth story even if I wasn’t there, don’t have her records, don’t know HER truth
Of course Navelgazer is being tongue-in-cheek here, but her words give me pause. I respect her wisdom and her truth and I feel myself slipping into kind of an abyss. I am not savior of the world, (not even the birth world), I am NOT a midwife, only a homebirth advocate, and a FORMER L&D nurse (not even a very good one- I was too busy trying to sabotage technology to learn to use it as an effective tool). My religious training tells me that pride precedes a fall, if that's so I should be landing on my ass right about now. My apologies to the doulas, my apologies to the young mom mentioned in the previous entry (and my apologies to the two moms I called dumbasses two years ago in a post for having inductions together so they could be roommates.) My job is not to judge, and I cannot teach from a place of ignorance. Please forgive me Dear Readers. I will try to do better.