Friday, June 16, 2006

The Parable of Indiana Jones

Something is happening to me. Something I'm only now beginning to get a dim glance of, something huge. No, I don't mean the pregnancy- though that is certainly part of it. I think I'm beginning to become myself. After 43 years, I can sense the real me starting to emerge- like a butterfly slowly leaving its coccoon. Why should it have taken so long? Is it like this for everyone? I was emailing my friend Kevin last night. I've known him for 25 years. We went to art school together back in the early 80s and have attended the same church for these past 25 years. For the past 6 years, he has also been one of my pastors. I had confided some of my struggles to him a while back and he had suggested a particular counselor for me to see. I saw her for the first time this week, and the time with her was phenomenal. I was emailing him to thank him for the referral, and to ask how he was doing after a recent trauma in his life. His email back was stunningly frank and revealing. He communicated that his experience had shaken him to the core making him rethink his life, his priorities, everything. It all sounded so familiar to me. I had no idea, that quitting my job, as a result of the pregnancy, would change my life and be the start of my metamorphasis. I thought I was just depriving my family of necessary income and being a weak and pathetic quitter. Those were lies. I was really gathering my courage and stepping out in faith and taking a chance on my own abilities and talents. At times like these, I am reminded of a scene from one of the Indiana Jones movies. It is one of my favorite images, that I encourage myself with often. In the scene, Indiana Jones must step off a cliff in order to save the life of his father. It of course looks like certain death, it's sheer folly, but he can find no other way, his father's life is dependent on it. Finally, with a look of total resignation, he closes his eyes and takes a step of total faith, certain that he will fail and fall to his own death. The next moment shows a look of complete shock when his foot lands on something solid. There is a land bridge across the divide- he was unable to see it before. It was camouflaged and therefore invisible to the eye, yet it was there all along. This is how God so often works in our lives. When I quit my job, I thought I was doing it from a place of great weakness. I felt defeated. Now I see God's Word manifested in my day to day life- that His stregnth is perfected in our weakness. My, what a great work of effort it is only to become whom I was truly meant to be. I emailed Kevin back to tell him to go ahead, close his eyes and jump.


kirsten said...

Sherry, I finally remembered how to get into my own blog I started nearly a year ago, so that I can comment on yours! You've motivated me to get back into journaling myself. This high tech method is new to me though. I'm enjoying your entries and your metamorphysis! I think it's true we do finally come into our own in our 40's. I just returned home from enrolling my baby in college and I'm feeling OK.


Ariel said...

I like how you subvert Indiana Jones for spiritual purposes. Nice.