Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Planning my Work and Working my Plan

My, oh my. Life has such limitless possibilities. I'm sitting on the balcony of my room of a local waterpark resort. My husband and I brought the children here for a few days of R&R. The kids have been staying up late, enjoying the cartoon network that we don't get at home (because we refuse to do cable). Everyone is still asleep, just like at home, because I like to have at least 2 hours of quiet time to myself every morning. I just spent my early morning hours catching up on my friend's blog. She's a NewYork author and speaker (just like I want to be when I grow up, except for the New York part- I'm happy where I am). Victoria and I met years ago when we were both homeschooling moms here in KC. I remember when she was writing her first book, now she's about to publish something like her 14th or 15th. I try to get a front row seat whenever she is in town for a presentation. I feel so priviledged to have witnessed her journey. She now travels nationally and internationally promoting her books and giving her talks. (check out her website for yourself at www.victoriamoran.com ) My, my, my, and here I sit, trying to wrangle out my first book. Her blog is so full of her now glamerous lifestyle hobnobbing with the rich and famous. I'm not envious, so much as impatient to see my own dreams come to fruition. I was reading an email this morning from another friend, Michele, who lives in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. San Miguel is where I have gone two years in a row now, to participate in a three day pilgrimage through the mountains (a life altering event). Michele sent pictures of her retreat center and it just got my mind ticking. I've been trying to think of ways to link my business to San Miguel. I'd love it if it became a second home, in fact. It suddenly occurred to me that I could set up week long retreats that involve both education and vacationing. One of those learning vacations I heard about when I attended my travellers group meeting last week. I just have to figure out, a) what I have to teach, that folks would pay big bucks to learn, and b) the logistics. A will be the harder of the two. Should I teach to other healthcare professionals and offer continuing education credits? Could I offer a retreat on a more fun or frivolous topic? Could I set up a medical missions project and combine it with safety training or language learning? I have a lot of thinking to do. Of course, I always have to ask, how does the new baby fit into all this. One of my life goals is to travel. One of the reasons both my husband and I were looking forward to all the kids being gone is so that we could finally, at long last, do the travelling that we really have wanted to do. I know everything is falling into place. The quickest way to become a recognized "expert" in anything, is to write a book. I'm working on that one. I also want to become a presenter. I'm continuing to hone my presentation skills through involvment with my Toastmasters group. (I even took private lessons last year.) I've spoken at several conferences now (not for money, but for experience. I do have some connections and trusted friends of whom I can ask advice, and ones who have been where I want to go. I know how to create and or take advantage of opportunities. I'm still sharpening my niche, which I think is really important. What do I lack? Courage and belief. One cannot do the work I seek to do without a deep and abiding faith in his or herself and a willingness to step out in faith and conquer their own fears. My mind is so full of doubt. (Will people listen to what I have to say, why should they, who made me an authority on the topic, what validates my knowledge and experience?) Even at 43, I still feel like that little girl in pigtails sitting alone in the grass making flower wreaths. I don't take that as a bad thing. All my alone time cultivated my creativity and taught me how to entertain and motivate myself. But my desire is helping me to overcome my fear. I want what I want and I want it bad. Now I have opportunity like I have never had it before. I own my own time. That in itself is an amazing gift. Twenty-four hours everyday to make my life count for something. I can't let having a baby throw me back into chaos and the tyranny of the urgent. I may never have the opportunity of time, the way I do now. I must make it count. I have to take a step of faith and bring my goals to fruition. I have to complete what I have started. But how? Thats the working part of making and implementing a plan.

2 comments:

Anonymous Assclown said...

Stop blogging about it and write your book.
You have those 2 hours a day to yourself - use them.

Laborpayne said...

You are so right of course. My fear continues to block me, but I will do it.