Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

I'm bitter about birth. It's true. I am. I'm sick of hearing about healthy young women going under the knife for no good reason. I'm sick of docs telling women that their babies are too big, or their pelvises are too small, or what the fuck ever. I'm tired of hearing women say they can't give birth without an epidural. I'm tired of docs scheduling inductions and women eagerly and gullibly going along with it because they are 'tired of being pregnant'. I'm sick and tired of those same inductions leading to cesareans that wouldn't have happened if the induction had not happened. I'm tired of women blaming themselves for things the healthcare system causes. I'm tired of medwives. I'm tired of burnt out women-hating, baby-hating doctors who need to get out of obstetrics. I'm tired of wimpy, whiny women who want no responsibility for their births, tired of women deluded enough to believe everything their doctors tell them. I don't want to bear witness to someone else's shitty birth. I don't want to see that look in her eyes, sick and desperately afraid of something being wrong with her baby if she doesn't do what THEY tell her. I don't want to watch a woman thank her doctor after he or she just fucked up royally but made themselves look like the hero. I'm tired, just plain old sick and tired of all the bullshit.

13 comments:

Pamela said...

hear, hear. i hear you. i feel you. i go through this so often...especially when close friends choose the route most traveled, the route most risky. why would they do that, in light of statistics and evidence they've been reading about?

it's so deep, the fear of birth. i suppose choosing a provider that has that same deep, fear of birth makes you think about it less. care about it less. so when they cut you open, you assume that it was necessary.

Mimi said...

Hear, hear indeed!

Did you see the MSNBC article about maternal deaths increasing - they laid blame on the rising c-section rate (duh!). I was stunned that this was news.

Doulala said...

I know the feeling all to well. I posted about it a while back.

http://madredemuchos.blogspot.com/2006/12/when-you-trust-in-your-physician.html

Isabella said...

oh gosh, me too.
i'm sick of how unavoidably technical birth is in hospitals-they can't relax until they have you pinned down in one way or another. If it's not the monitor, it's an iv. I had my first baby at home, thank God, it helped me know exactly what i wanted and how to stand up for the labor i wanted.

Mama to Monkeys said...

Yup.

k.thedoula said...

Gosh, when I say those things... people look at me like I'm nuts.
I LOVE YOU!
I'm not too insane... I'm sure of it now!

Emma Someone said...

HEAR HEAR!! Let's pray that I never end up feeling like that...

kris said...

i hear you. have you read this at navelgazing midwives??
http://observantmidwife.blogspot.com/2007/08/birth-unfolds-in-photos-words.html

brings a little hope..

Red Pomegranate said...

I know this feeling all too well. Was writing a blog about it myself, but I felt like I was being too negative, you've encouraged me to speak my truth, think I'll have to revist this subject sometime soon. My big question is, how do we change it? I don't believe the answer is an easy one, nor is it black and white... Sometimes being called to work in birth is a very hard road indeed.

LaborPayne said...

I'm right there with you pomegranate, sometime I think, why can't I be working toward something doable- like world peace??? : ) Do keep on speaking your truth- we need to keep lifting one another up, and besides your blog is lovely.

Anonymous said...

TOTALLY with you!

Just had a friend request a c- section because the thought of a vaginal delivery was "disgusting" for her! Presumably the way in which the baby got there in the first place wasn't too "disgusting" for her!!??

AAARGH!!!! You could be speaking words straight from my mind.

LaborPayne said...

Thanks Anon,
Your story saddens me. Are we really so disconnected from our own bodies?

mamasara said...

Way to vent, Sherry. I started out as a doula wearing rose colored glasses thinking that I was OK with supporting moms in whatever birth path they chose. I was taught not to speak the truth of hospital birth for fear of doctor and nurse retaliation. Bleah! Now, after seeing way too much abuse by the "professionals" you mentioned, I am much more honest with the moms I work with and feel like I'm being much more honest with myself as well. I have been successful at getting a number of moms to change their providers and have a beautiful birth instead of a nightmare.

Thank you to you and many of the other courageous women who have posted here. I read many of your blogs and have inspired by all of you.