Living the Life

I had lunch yesterday with my long-time friend, Julie. Boy did I need an afternoon of pure enjoyment after a week of busyness. Julie took me out to lunch to Macaroni Grill, a really nice Italian restaurant. We sat and yapped for three hours! We needed to catch up on things. After I caught her up to speed on my life and she on hers, she said she had an idea for my NEXT book. (Hmmm, I'm writing another book now?) She said that I should write a book for women about how I overcame my fears to accomplish my goals. Its an intriguing thought. I told her the story of the first time in my adult life when I stepped out of my fear and did what I thought was impossible in spite of my fears. (Its a great story but I won't tell it now.) We had a long talk about courage. She asked if I was ever afraid to step out and do the things I do. I assured her every step I take is bathed in fear. Its just that I've made a habit of putting the fear in its place. Instead of a wall blocking my path, I now see it as an annoying pest that I'm constantly shooing out of the way. I reminded Julie that courage isn't the absence of fear, its moving on and getting things done in spite of it. I've found that if I take one small step, I am rewarded by seeing other details fall into place, in areas where I have absolutely no control. A recent example is finding the documentary makers. For years, I didn't tell people about my ideas and projects, I kept them to myself. (Frankly I thought my goals were too grandios and that people would put me in my place for having such lavish ideas! Ironically now that I tell my goals, I'm constantly nagged by a little voice that tells me my ideas are too small, think bigger, think bigger...) Now I believe if I speak it forth, it helps to bring it into reality. So during my son's birth, while I was chatting with his doula during a lull in the activity, I casually mentioned to her that I would like to do a documentary of this birth. She was only the first or second person I had mentioned it to. She casually stated that she had clients who were documentary makers- would I like their contact info? Whodda thunk it? This kind of stuff happens to me all the time. One of my friends once told me that I had a gift for manifesting like no-one else she's ever known. I think it is my gift or at least my propensity. I speak it forth, begin the work, and things come to pass- but I never do all the doing. I operate in cahoots with God- the ultimate and consumate networker. I'm merely on my way to living the life He intended I live all along.