Naked to the World

The initial interview for the documentary went well. We taped for about 2 1/2 hours. They asked me questions, I answered. They started with questions about my childhood, where I grew up, and then launched into questions about my birth experiences. We also covered my nursing school, and nursing experiences. I won't see any of this until December, when the trailer film is complete. My biggest fear is looking like an idiot. But the filmmakers assure me, that if 5 people view a film, there are 5 different reactions to it, and besides, in countries where homebirth is more routine, I won't look crazy at all, or as he put it in his crisp British clip "they won't think you're a nutter". (thanks for reminding me that people all over the world will see me naked) All in all though, I think it was a good start. I tell myself constantly, I'm telling my story, I'm just telling my story, that's all this is. Even so, if feels bigger, it feels like more than that.

I was reading through several homebirth/midwifery blogs yesterday, and found an entry on pregancy rituals. I loved it. I should have marked it because now I can't find it again. Anyway I decided to a) cast my belly, and b) construct a labor necklace. I have a little pregnant woman medallion that I purchased at the MANA (Midwife Alliance of North America) conference last year (I hate that I can't go this year- its too close to my due date). I'm going to ask everyone to bring two black beads to contribute to my labor necklace to present to me during the sharing circle. I'll string them with the medallion and wear it during my labor. The ceremony is this weekend. My friend Julie will come over today for us to finish the robes. We've been cleaning like mad fiends around here to get ready for the Wilson family. We've shampooed all the carpet and upholstry and re-cleaned the boys rooms to accomodate our guests (they supposedly cleaned their rooms before they left for Minnesota, but you know how that goes). I'm now making my way through a mountain of towels and linen that need to be washed. Everyone has pitched in with the cleaning and done a great job. The house hasn't looked this good since we moved into it last year. I even took the rug shampooer over to my office to clean the training room floor. It sees a lot of traffic. Of course all this cleaning is also good preparation for the birth. (not only will the whole world see me naked, more importantly they'll see my house)

Yesterday after church was over, my friend Kevin took the lead in having a few folks gather and pray for my endeavors. I'm sure they still don't know quite what to think about all this, but they have been sweet and supportive nontheless. As we prayed, Kevin placed a hand on my shoulder and his wife Sarah placed a hand on my knee. Others reached out to complete our little circle. I felt enveloped and embraced in love, and acceptance. I want to remember how this feels always.