Have Agenda, Will Travel

Well, I guess the hiatus is over. I have applied for 3 speaking engagements for next year. I didn't speak at all this year (except through this blog) because of the pregnancy. Now that opportunities are presenting themselves I can't wait to jump in start again next year. So far (if I'm accepted by all) I'll speak on breastfeeding in San Francisco in Feb, SIDs in KC in Feb, and breastfeeding in Florida in Oct. I'm glad I've devoted time to refining my speaking skills through Toastmasters this year, and private coaching last year. Now I can devote myself to content and not making a fool of myself in front of scores of my colleagues. Yesterday at our monthly Breastfeeding Committee meeting someone mentioned an LC position at the city hospital (they don't currently have an LC, their bf rates are in the toilet and they have a high population of Latina, AA, and immigrant and refugee populations- some might think I would be a descent match for this.) I asked myself yet again, why I didn't see myself in that role. I could become an LC within the year if I wanted to, but I don't want to. Its not my calling, neither is being a midwife, or a doula, or a cbe. This is problematic for me because I very much want to talk about breastfeeding and birth- even while my career choices take me further away from active practice. I have no intentions of doing L&D again, yet its that credential that lends me the most credibility. I get excited about writing and speaking, but not about doing the things I want to speak about. This seems inconsistent to me and somewhat uncomfortable. But I'm older and wiser now. I won't stretch myself to fit someone else's mold- I have to do the things that in my heart I know I must do. Someone better than me will have to take the LC job (I hope she's African-American and bilingual and works well making change within systems). My job is to create change with my writing and speaking abilities, or make a fool of myself trying.